Through the past few days this word has come up often in my thoughts. It brings into harsh focus of what I have lacked the majority of my life. I feel like I have been afraid, of having to be responsible, of other people, mostly my own feelings. It has not been until recently that I have even realized what the word truly meant to me, it has a myriad of different meanings to everyone, but to me it is a lifestyle. It is a drive that you have for yourself that pushes you forward to realize your dreams.
To me the pursuit of everyone in this world is power of some form, whether it is selfish or not self serving at all. All humans want to achieve their dreams; they all want to realize their goals because it gives them a reason for being. To me, power, or ability is what gives people the tools to achieve their goals and unlock their maximum potential. The people who have the strength to seize their potential and realize their dreams are the ones who have the willpower to keep them moving forward. It is these people who eventually end up as dominant to others.
In the human perception most think that any form of dominance is wrong, that all of us should be equal. But where is the drive then? What is the purpose for being or the reason to extend any amount of effort if we are all going to be equal no matter who puts forth their strength or not? In the animal kingdom we observe what most call a “survival of the fittest” where the animals that do not have the strength to equal or surpass their predators will die. The lion roaming the fields to kill the gazelle will survive if it catches and consumes its quarry, however if the gazelle proves to be the more wily and faster runner the lion will starve and the gazelle earning its right to live. I believe humans are one in the same, those who have strength, power, drive, goals that they want to accomplish will rise and dominate those lesser than them.
Humans however are not as one dimensional as animals are so their goals go beyond survival. Many wish to help others, but in order to do so one must have the strength and fortitude to help. If someone wishes to save lives but has no concept of anything medical they will be hard pressed to ever save a dying person. Medical knowledge, education, and conditioning are their powers, it’s what sets them apart from the others and they can move forward to their dream of helping others. Just because they are not selfish does not mean they are not dominant, they are smarter and better equipped than their colleagues so therefore they are dominant, even if that is not what their goal was.
Strength is the pinnacle attribute to any who wish to see their dreams made into a reality. It is what separates the dominant from those who shrink under pressure and responsibility. Everyone possesses strength and will, all they need do is find it and apply it to their situation. I for one have always been the recessive, I would cower from responsibility, be an escapist. My life has taken unexpected turns because of this, but none that I regret. Everything I have done has led me to this point in my life that I look back and know what I have to do.
I have grown up poor, but even in that situation I have been given most everything I have wanted but yet I still felt so hallow. I now know because I was not seizing my own power, I was not trying to create my own unique destiny. The past couple years I have had to fight just to keep myself alive, through the depressions, through the suicidal thoughts and self loathing I inflicted upon myself, I have fought through the darkest despair to even achieve the smallest sense of happiness and gratification. I do not regret the pain I have endured, I have had to struggle for everything I now have and that has made me strong. I have weathered out the tempest of my despair. I have endured the constant emotional punishment I have faced in the past. I appreciate everything that I have, my family, my friends, the roof over my head, the food and water that keeps me alive, the footsteps I make in the earth, everything I have and in this world I love. The world is not perfect in our eyes and never will be, because perfection is a human idealism that is unachievable, it would mean that everyone fulfills their goals and is happy, but humans goals are too diverse and conflicting that that could not happen. It is up to those with the willpower to grasp the power they hold inside themselves and make their goals into accomplishments.
I wish to reclaim my throw at destiny, to use my traits to make a positive impact. I want not only to make myself ascend higher but those I love as well. I want my wife to smile and be grateful for the life that we have, and then realize the strength she holds as I have realized mine. I want my sister to learn to forgive herself, find a purpose and use her iron will to achieve it. I want my friends and family, those who are troubled to use me as a beacon, that my struggle for dominance over my own faults will help them realize what is true about themselves. It is idealistic, and has that bitter taste of hope that lingers on my tongue, but that is my dream. To have those around me succeed, and to create a livelihood that would make them proud. I know I can accomplish this no matter how much adversity I have faced, no matter how many people have told me I will fail. I will only fail if I stop striving, if I stop my conquest to achieve what I want is the only way I can possibly fail and I will not allow that to happen.
I have given up thinking about the negative; I need to begin a new path, one that I shall share with my wife, one where she will be proud of me and live together blissfully for many years. If I wallow in my own self pity I can never accomplish this, my dream gives me strength, my strength gives me power, my power allows me to achieve my dream.
My greatest struggle is to help those around me, to have them realize how precious life is and to try and enjoy every moment that they have. We never know what when our time will come, so it is important that we enjoy the life we have, look forward to the dreams that we will live. If there are those of us who die without accomplishing their goals it is indeed a sad fate, but if they have lived their lives striving, improving themselves, loving those around them and working hard for the ones they loved and themselves, they did not die in vain. Their lives were worth living and they brightened other people’s lives with their presence and have made a positive impact on their families and friends. What dream could be worth more? What goal could be more important than what they have already accomplished?
I have found my strength, the thing that everyone can possess and unlock if they have the will to do it. I have found it through not only myself, but those around me that I love, and I owe them my world, and my life. I have to pay them back for the kindness and patience they have shown me. I know I will not fail, I love them far too much to allow myself to ever fail where the ones I treasure are at stake.